Aham Prema 14

 Is it day 14? I think. if I started on a Saturday though, I think it's more like 15. I know I got off the rails for a second with my blogging. 

I listened to the Youtube version of the chanting today, moving the beads through my hands. I didn't chant above a whisper and mostly just followed along in my head. When my whole family is home, I feel more inhibited. I know someone might walk in the room and look at me or talk to me like I seem so odd. Like a pink giraffe is sitting and counting beans in the room. 

  I need to have a peaceful day. I cannot have an argument with anyone today. If I need to remove myself or keep to myself in order to do that, then that's what I'll do. I may feel triggered. Someone may trigger me intentionally to provoke a reaction. I need to be able to just let go. Let go and let other people feel what they're feeling, despite how irrational it may seem to me, their feelings make sense to them. I let go of how others perceive the world and how they perceive me. You can perceive me as a friend or treat me like an enemy but I have to protect my peace. I literally don't have the energy not to do that. If I focus on my own peace and feeling safe and positive for myself, I will be ok. 

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